A Simple Guide to Loving Difficult People

Do you really want to make a difference? Do you want to bring about change? Do you want to cause the world to be brighter?  Show love to the 'deficit '

In our world,  there are the easy to love and there are the hard to love. 

But the thing is everyone has their easy to love and their hard to love.  The colleague,  who to you is an impossible to love is someone's husband and the love of her life. 

What does this mean?  Everybody has a lovable element in them.

Walking in love is not when you love the lovables, even the worst of the worst love their own. It is when you love the unlovable.

Same goes for kindness, forgiveness, charity and all such acts. Only when you have given this to those whom you do not 'like' and can't pay you back, have you truly done anything.

I'm saying this with all sense of humility, because I know it is quite hard.

But I'll be sharing some tips which I hope can help you love the unlovables.

1. It is not about who they are, it is about who you are. Have you noticed that no matter the rain, no matter how heavy, no matter how dark the clouds, when all is said and done, the sun simply shines again with its simple glory.

Why? The sun simply shines! It is what it does.  No questions, no regrets.  It is about who you are. Realise that other people's actions are about who they are, don't make your response about them too. Be intentional about your responses.  Never allow yourself to get into the dungeon of payback. Many-a-good people have fallen and have never found their way back to 'good land'.

2. Love is compulsory. Yes, you heard right. Love is not an option,  the earlier you let yourself in on that truth, the better you will be. Forgive people, love people, help people. It is a cardinal law and a prerequisite for sanity in your daily lives.

If you don't love people, you are killing yourself and setting yourself up for a life of anger, bitterness and strife. When your mind is so sick and diseased, in a short time,  your body will join in on the party.

3. Learn to separate love from bonding. It will save your life. There are some people you shouldn't bond with, otherwise they will be a perpetual work-out for your love muscles. Love them, be friendly to them,  be charitable to them, pray for them but you don't have to form a bond, a clique or a circle with them.

With these kind of people,  you are like a tap supplying water for them to wash their dirty hands. You can decide to be there as the tap, you could have the water they need to get clean,  you might as well flow from now till thy kingdom come, but if they don't stretch out their hands and wash, nothing will happen.

As a tap, you lock yourself, keep your supply to yourself, knowing that whenever,  wherever, for whatever they need water,  you will supply.

If they realise their dirty hands and decide to wash, you will supply. 

If they don't and just need to wash an apple with your water,  you will supply.

To help us put things in perspective, let us look at love, as defined by its author:

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant.

It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured.

It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail].

Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]